Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
