I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
