I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
