Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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