Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
True college students do jello shots in the library
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
