Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
