4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
