he thought i was a dude.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
