he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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