google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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