The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
