Too much gin, very little bucket
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
