I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
