I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You can't motorboat a personality
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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