just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
