i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
