I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
