he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
