ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
