if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
there is puke in my bra ... again
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