he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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