His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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