can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
