i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So many bounce houses so little time
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
