i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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