you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
