Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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