i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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