go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The air was thick with penises
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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