just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Panties = found
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
