somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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