Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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