insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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