mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
