Whod you bang
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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