i think my tv is drunk
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
