I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
