i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My dick has a subreddit
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
