Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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