is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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