It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
