Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
What drink are we having for lunch?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You ruined the universe
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
