ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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