I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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