He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
