laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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