ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
