Where did you get a picture of my penis
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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