i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
