Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
