he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
