I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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