I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
